Having a positive body image is very important for your own self esteem and your relationship. If you cannot see beauty in your own body, how can you believe your partner when they do?
The thing about that is not only that you will make your partner out to be a liar, which he/she won’t like, more importantly, you are telling yourself that you cannot trust your partner. And a relationship without trust is not an equal partnership and is not healthy.
In order to improve your body image, this is a note that I wrote a while ago. You may have seen it around on some forums or even facebook. I know this works for me, and therefore I wanted to pass it on.
Go to a full length mirror. Stand before it in your underwear (naked will come later.. one thing at the time). Look at your body, really look at it. Identify all that you think is pretty. Don’t mention the things that you think are ugly, just look at everything you think is pretty. It can be the little toe on your left foot.. the way your eyes are shaped, your lips, the fact that you have very soft skin… Touch the area you are thinking about while repeating in your mind “yes, this is a pretty part of me”.
Do this with as much cloths off as you feel comfortable at first. After a while (a few days or a few weeks, everybody is different) take off more clothes until you can do this comfortably naked.
Good for the skin and good for the self image. Get a nice smelling body lotion. At least once a week, but better more often, rub yourself with body lotion. For every part that you rub, think of something nice to say. It doesn’t matter what it is. For example, if you think your legs are too fat, while you are rubbing think “hmmm this feels nice. It is good to have legs like mine. They carry me anywhere, they feel good under my hands”.
Have a beauty ritual that makes you touch yourself while looking in the mirror. For women, combing your hair is a good one. For men, it could be shaving (I’m not sure, since I’m not a guy ) Look at yourself. Look at your hair. Feel the feeling of the hair against the brush. Look at how pretty you are. Think about how pretty you are. Don’t pay attention to the bad thoughts, just pay attention to the good things you see in your face.
Only do this when you are comfortable with step 1, 2 and 3. take something you feel bad about. Your nose for example. Examine it carefully. What is it that you don’t like about it? The shape? Follow the shape with your finger.. feel how it is part of your face. Find good things to think about your nose (like, how soft the skin is, or even, maybe in the beginning, how much worse it could have been). For the next few days, every time you see a mirror, look at your nose. See how well it fits your face. Get used to seeing it. Focus on it. After a while (at least that is how it worked for me) you will not be able to imagine your face any different, with a different nose.
If you feel you are too fat and there for you don’t like your body, do the same thing, with body lotion, while you think loving thoughts about the body part that you are touching.
In the beginning it might feel fake, but after a while you will start to believe yourself. You will see the beauty in yourself. Why? Because the negative thoughts are not real. Because you ARE beautiful, you have just forgotten it.
I am a big fan of “spoiling” yourself with beauty products. Not because of other people, but to give your body the loving attention it deserves.
Use some scrub salts once a week. Massage your body with body lotion every day. Comb your hair with attention and love.
Taking care of your body is not a time waster. It is not something that “has to get done”, another tasks on the list. Something to hurry though because you have more important things to do. You don’t. Your body carries you though this life.
There is nothing more important than taking care of it, on the inside AND OUTSIDE!
Have fun. Explore your body. Discover what a treasure it really is!